We secretly believe that if only we achieve some elusive goal – fitting into a pair of skinny jeans, or redoing our kitchen or getting that promotion – that it will make us happy. But the pain of our insecurity is hidden in all that racing around.…Dani Shapiro
Being insecure is at the root of most of my self destructive behavior. I have learned that this is true for most people. I spent a third of my life studying in order to enter a high paying profession because of an insecurity called status anxiety ( my parents status anxiety really). I would feel depressed when a person i liked romantically did not show an equal amount of interest. This was due to insecurity (if i was secure with myself rejection would not phase me). I would try hard to be accepted by the “cool kids”. This was due to insecurity. I would also have to get into debates in order to prove how smart i was. This was because of insecurity. I spent months trying to get as many sexual conquests as possible. That was definitely due to insecurity.
Most odd social behavior exhibited by humans is due to insecurity. Insecurity may manifest itself as envy. It may also manifest itself as excessive gossiping. A common manifestation is an obsession with ones muscle mass. There are so many ways that it can present. Insecurity is that devil on everyone’s shoulder. Being human is to struggle with this demon even if you don’t realize that you are struggling with it.
Over the last couple of years i have become much more comfortable with myself. This has allowed me to quell most of my insecurities. I have become more self aware. I have learned to be proud of my strengths and accept my shortcomings. I would like to challenge everyone reading this blog to think about their insecurities. I would also challenge you to attempt to defeat your insecurities. I promise that your life will be much more fulfilling once you claim victory over your insecurities.