Video Games and Porn

   “…When people lose their way and lack a real purpose for living they often fall back on certain forms of escapism as a form of self-soothing…” 
― John GeddesA Familiar

If you want to see how someone truly wants to live their life look at the entertainment they consume. I wake up feeling like i am suppressing some primal urge. Like man was not supposed to live such a sheltered life. I look at myself in the mirror and feel like all of my mid twenties muscle mass is useless. I don’t need muscle in my daily life. I am going to go to class and learn about renal tubular acidosis. Or how to take a perfect physical exam. These things don’t seem real. I find myself despising the students that are too enthusiastic about this ultra safe subject matter. I want to say let the women be doctors! They are better at nurture anyway. Lets go mountain climb or go fist fight in the alley right next to the school. I need to feel real. I need some adrenaline.  I need to reconnect with something very ancient inside of me.  Most medical students look at me like I am crazy.

I have a good friend of mine who is a very cool dude. He is the kind of guy that is a jack of all trades. He actually has a blog called http://theprincipledlife.wordpress.com/. I was in class and I just couldn’t take this feeling of boredom anymore. I just realized that i didnt want to be a 30 year old doctor that had never experienced all that life had to offer. Medicine is cool but so is a lot of other stuff. I want to be a professional skydiver or something. Anything. I feel like a cubicle hamster that goes to class, clinics and comes home to books.

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( Do not misinterpret the text all you  super politically correct people. I am not advocating promiscuity or senseless violence. I am just saying that my testosterone wants to play a combat sport and go up and ask that beautiful women on a date.)

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He might have a good point.Video games and porn are some of the biggest industries in America. Shooting and screwing. This is our form of escapism. This is what people imagine themselves doing the most. Does this mean that the average person really longs to live a more free life? Is having a conventional career toxic? Do we just fake having fun at work because there is no viable alternative? Did our original exciting plan of being a wildlife photographer not work out?

I feel like Edward Norton in fight club. I also feel like Ron Livingston in Office Space. These movies speak to a whole generation of people. Instead of the cubicle my life is replaced by clinics and classrooms. For some reason open heart surgery doesn’t do it for me. Writing SOAP notes does not excite me either. Maybe I am in the wrong profession. Maybe I am selfish. I entered this profession for all the wrong reasons. Now i must plan my escape. I need adventure.

ps do girls have a sense of unfulfilled adventure? Is this just a symptom of testosterone? I  feel like even girls get bored with some of the super theoretical medical stuff.

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